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EPISODES

  • Series 1

    • 01 - The Serpents Tooth
    • 02 - A Pain In The Class
    • 03 - Droit De Seigneur
    • 04 - The Last Resort
    • 05 - A Farewell to Alarms
    • 06 - Death Takes a Policy
    • 07 - The Awkward Phase
    • 08 - Much Ado About Ben
  • Series 2

    • 01 - All Roads Lead to Ramon
    • 02 - The Unkindest Cut
    • 03 - Parisian Beauty
    • 04 - Trust Never Sleeps
    • 05 - Death & Ben Take a Holiday
    • 06 - Driving Miss Crazy
    • 07 - I Second That Emulsion
    • 08 - The Age of Romance
    • 09 - Get Cartier
    • 10 - Tis A Pity She's A Whore
    • 11 - The Last Supper
    • 12 - Ben Wants A Millionaire
    • 13 - Breakable
  • Series 3

    • 01 - Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey
    • 02 - Shrink Rap
    • 03 - Desperately Squeezing Susan
    • 04 - Of Mice & Ben
    • 05 - Imperfect Strangers
    • 06 - The Second Greatest Story Ever Told
    • 07 - Waiting To Inhale
    • 08 - Misery
    • 09 - Auto Erotica
    • 10 - A Handful of Dust
    • 11 - The Lost Weekend
    • 12 - Ghosts
    • 13 - One Flew Out of The Cuckoo's Nest
    • Ding Dong Merrily (Christmas Special)
  • Series 4

    • 01 - Fitting Punishment
    • 02 - They Shoot Harper's Don't They
    • 03 - The Great Escape
    • 04 - Return of The Prodigal Prat
    • 05 - Owed To Susan
    • 06 - Deliverance
    • 07 - Blind Justice
    • 08 - Friday The 31st (Halloween)
    • 09 - Sitting Targets
    • 10 - Loco Parentis
    • 11 - The Canary Cage (Lanzarote)
    • 12 - May The Best Man Win
    • 13 - It's A Window Filled Life
    • Sixty Feet Under (Christmas Special)
  • Series 5

    • 01 - My Family Reloaded 'Special'
    • 02 - The Mummy Returns
    • 03 - You Don't Know Jack
    • 04 - What's Up Docklands?
    • 05 - Luck Be A Lady Tonight
    • 06 - First Past The Post
    • 07 - My Will Be Done
    • 08 - My Fair Charlady
    • 09 - The Mouthtrap
    • 10 - While You Were Sleeping
    • 11 - Dentist To The Stars
    • 12 - A Wife Less Ordinary
    • 13 - The Book of Love
    • 14 - Going Dental
    • 15 - Glad Tidings We Bring (Hour Long Christmas Special)
  • Series 6

    • 01 - ...and I'll Cry if I Want To
    • 02 - Bliss for Idiots
    • 03 - The Spokes Person
    • 04 - Dentally Unstable
    • 05 - Living the Dream
    • 06 - An Embarrassments of Susans
    • 07 - And Other Animals
    • 08 - The Art of Being Susan
  • Series 7

    • The Heart of Christmas (Hour Long Special)
    • 01 - Ego Has Landed
    • 02 - Four Affairs and a Funeral
    • 03 - Once More with Feeling
    • 04 - Dutch Art and Dutch Courage
    • 05 - Susan of Troy
    • 06 - One of the Boys
    • 07 - Abi Ever After
    • 08 - Breaking Up Ain't Hard to Do
    • 09 - Life Begins at Fifty
  • Series 8

    • Ho Ho No (Hour Christmas Special)
    • 01 - The Parent Trap
    • 02 - Let's Not Be Heisty
    • 03 - Cards on the Table
    • 04 - The Wax Job
    • 05 - Neighbour Wars
    • 06 - Can't Get No Satisfaction
    • 07 - The Abi Habit
  • Series 9

    • It's a Gift (Christmas Special)
    • Harpers and Queen (New Years Special)
    • 01 - Bully for Ben
    • 02 - Bringing Up Janey
    • 03 - A Very Brief Encounter
    • 04 - A Difficult Undertaking
    • 05 - The Psyche of Mikey
    • 07 - Dog Dazed
    • 08 - It's Training Men
    • 09 - The Guru
    • 10 - Kenzo's Project
  • Series 10

    • The Fight Before Christmas (Hour Long Special)
    • 01 - Wheelie Ben
    • 02 - The Son'll Come Out
    • 03 - Desperately Stalking Susan
    • 10 - The Melbourne Identity
    • 05 - He's Just Not That Into Ben
    • 06 - Slammertime
    • 07 - Ben Behaving Badly
    • 08 - Mary Christmas
  • Series 11

    • 01 - Janey's Choice
    • 02 - Labour Pains
    • 03 - Accusin' Susan
    • 04 - Germs of Endearment
    • 05 - Harper vs. Harper
    • 06 - Relationship Happens
    • 07 - Facebooked
    • 08 - A Decent Proposal
    • 09 - Darts All Folks
    • 11 - A Night Out
    • Neighbour Wars II (Hour Long Special)

S02E12 – Ben Wants A Millionaire

Ben asks a successful schoolmate for stock tips while Nick sells his body parts on Ebay.
  • Episode Summary

    • Ben has a bossy new over efficient assistant, Laura. Mr. Henshaw comes in. An extremely nervous patient. Ben's old school friend arrives unannounced and invited Ben and Susan to dinner with his wife who is about to have surgery. Andy has just sold a string of companies and is investing in the stock market. Much to Ben's horror they go out to dinner. Susan meanwhile makes Borsht for the children's dinner. Susan is in the middle of learning Russian for a Russian tour group who are to arrive shortly. Janey wants Prada shoes. Nick comes into the hall, hears the tape and thinks they have a ghost. Ben is desperate not to go to dinner with Andy and Ambyr (his very young wife) Banks as he didn't like him at school. Ambyr is having a mole removed from her bottom. She has silicone implants which Ben is invited to touch and he does. Meanwhile the children throw away just enough borsht to make Susan think they have eaten it. When they return Susan is upset that Ben touched Ambyrs breasts. Nick has decided to start a new business selling his body parts. Ben is upset that Andy is so successful and obviously happy. Susan puts the Russian tape on to learn as they go to sleep. Ben gets up and goes to call Andy for a share tip. Ben has a tip and they decide to gamble some of Nick's college fund. Susan finds Michael investing in the Cayman's. Mr. Henshaw returns with a cracked filling but Ben is too intent on his share dealings. The shares start to rocket. Susan starts to think about new houses and villas in Tuscany. Janey still just wants Prada shoes. Andy and Ambyr come to say goodbye and don't tell Ben whether to sell or not. Susan advises Ben to sell but he takes no notice. Once the stock starts to fall, he asks Michael. Nick has decided to become a sperm donor as Ebay won't sell body parts. Michael has Prada shoes much to Janey's horror. Ben returns home and has lost all but £200. When he says at least we have the other college funds, Susan tells him she invested on a tip and lost that too. We end with Michael reading the financial section telling his father Dynoblast has rocketed. Nick is in the bathroom working.
  • Cast

    • Character

      Actor

      Ben Harper
      Robert Lindsay
      Susan Harper
      Zoë Wanamaker
      Nick Harper
      Kris Marshall
      Michael Harper
      Gabriel Thompson
      Janey Harper
      Daniela Denby-Ashe
      Andy Banks
      Daniel Hill

      Character

      Actor

      Ambyr Banks
      Kim Ross
      Mr. Henshaw
      Michael Troughton
      Dental Assistant
      Elizabeth Marmur
      School Secretary
      Debbie Norman
      Waiter
      Matthew Bose
  • Team

    • Role

      Name

      Director
      Dewi Humphreys
      Writer
      Jim Armogida
      Writer
      Steve Armogida
      Producer
      John Bartlett
      Exec. Producer
      Fred Barron
      Exec. Producer
      Don Taffner

DLT

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